One thing that has been on my mind recently, that is relevant at all time, but especially for me right now, is letting God be in control of leading me where he will, and not feeling the pressure to produce this growth, get to a certain spot, on my own. I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself to "arrive" somewhere where I feel alright and that everything is okay. Not sure exactly what I think this place of arrival will look like. But I don't think it exists. "There's no arrival," as one songwriter has put it. I think I struggle with control. Okay, I know I struggle with control. It's hard for me to trust God to lead me and take me places. I try to force it and be in control of spiritual growth in my life. Sure, we play a part in our spiritual growth. We have choices to make. We can keep God central or let Him just be on the outskirts of our life. But I find a freedom in giving up control of where I'm headed and the changes that will happen in my life. While here in Korea, I have an idea of how I want to grow, how I want to change. And to a certain degree, I am making choices that will foster that growth and change. But there is a bigger picture that only God sees, and He has a plan that is so much bigger than me. And I think I have a lot to learn about enjoying God here and now, while leaving the growth up to Him. I find it easy to focus on the frustration and discontent in my life, and how I can change, and not focus on Jesus. But He wants me just as I am. He doesn't need me to be at a certain place to enjoy and delight in me. Who I am today is enough. He is not discontent until I get to a more mature place. There is no place of arrival in the future where His love and delight in me will be greater or complete. It's complete already. God will never love us more, and never love us less than He does right now. Alright, that's it for today.

(Bought a cell phone today. Trust me, it's an upgrade from the previous one that brought me so much flack. Found another good Korean meal today-Se-oo bokkeum bap. Shrimp fried rice. Yum! I have one class tomorrow and one on wednesday, and that's it for the week. And then all all of next week off. Probably will take some vacation, either go down to the Busan area, or just stay here and do music stuff with my keyboard and Logic.)